I said Yes today.
It’s been building for some time, now.
Like… for years.
I’ve played with my “yes". Done a few things here and there. Tested it out, like a cat teases a mouse.
I was unsure. Disbelieving. Skeptical. And seriously, seriously doubtful.
And then there’s that always that ever-present friend I’ve travelled with my whole life… worth.
Am I worthy? Good enough? ME???
But today… today felt different.
Today, I could feel the energy pulling at me. I could feel Mother Mary stretch her arm out to me after my meditation, that if I would only take it she would guide me through the door.
Her offer wasn’t conditional. Or time bound. It never is.
I could quite literally see and feel a door ajar to my right, waiting. A shimmering portal to possibility.
It’s been open for a while. And yes, Mary’s told me about it for a long, long while. But I just busied myself with the rest of my life, looking at it from the corner of my eye now and then, saying I’d get to it.
Some. Day. Hah! (We know all that excuse, don’t we?)
But today the pull of the energy current was strong enough for me to sit my seat back on my couch for Meditation Session #2.
Now that’s uncommon.
Then there they were. 3 declarations flowed from my heart, body, and soul.
And a shower of energy poured down on me—liquid light that I know to be Truth. Holy Truth, Holy Fire, which I know as Mother Mary.
(Even as I write these words, I'm thinking… will you understand? Ah, the dregs of old conditioning. But no more. It doesn’t matter if you understand or not. I must write for me, and for the one person who might need to hear.)
Then she asked me to say them out loud.
“I am the living embodiment of the Divine Feminine, the Goddess”
“I am here to lead women to become the Goddesses that they are.”
“I am a spiritual teacher.”
With each sentence my spine felt electrified, jolted with ice-cold fire energy all the way down to my root chakra.
That’s how I know it’s true.
It didn’t even take that long. But there it was. Just like that.
My Yes. Choosing my Destiny. Claiming my Destiny.
Words spoken out into air. Electrified spine. Hair standing on end. And I stepped through the door of my destiny out of the fog of doubt, disbelief, and little self-worth.
And for the first time, I don’t care what anyone thinks.
Not even you…
(I guess it's no coincidence it's Lion's Gate and Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse today!!)
Is this how you say yes? Wait and wait, then when you’re finally ready, effortlessly step through the door?