She’s here! She’s here! She’s here!
I’m SO excited to let you know my memoir Brown Skin Girl: An Indian-American Woman’s Magical Journey From Broken to Beautiful has launched!
Check her out on Amazon!
And on my website.
It’s been a long, wild, and extraordinary ride to get Brown Skin Girl ready for the world. I’m so delighted she’s birthed! And grateful to so many people who midwifed her and me to make it happen. 😃
My intention for Brown Skin Girl is that she be Story Medicine for women so they feel inspired to choose themselves, speak their truth, heal, rise, and shine their Light.
If you enjoy Brown Skin Girl and think your friends, family, book clubs, and communities would be inspired by reading, please spread the word.
Here’s that link on Amazon, again.
I do hope you enjoy her! Happy reading!
A sweetness descends upon and envelopes me even before I finish my prayers. I’ve just settled onto my couch to meditate. My eyelids closed only a couple minutes ago, shutting out the cathedral of redwoods beyond my windows.
My words, “Make me an instrument…” fade in my mind, like ink on water.
Instead, the word “sweet” rises up. There’s a sweetness here.
It’s the quality of Mother Mary’s energy this morning.
It’s a sweetness I haven’t known. A sweetness that has probably come to me many times in my life in the form of women offering a particular quality of friendship that I’ve pushed away and run from.
But this energy, here, now is a feminine sweetness. Sister softness.
The kind I can rest my head upon. A sweetness that wraps her arms around me to say she is there no matter what. That I don’t have to do anything.
Not do anything to be loved?
My nervous system isn’t wired that way.
But there it is. Here she is. My body trembles a little. Hard to believe. But her sweetness is unwavering.
I breathe in more deeply to take in the honey of her. And another breath. She enters and descends into me, like a pink feather, wafting into my lungs and heart. My body drinks in her presence and trembles at the same time.
When she reaches my belly my body starts to shake like a small earthquake. Waves of fear ripple from my belly throwing something up and out.
Even after journeying together for so long how hard it is for me to trust her.
Even after all the times she’s come to me how hard it is to fully believe she’s really there. Here. With me. No matter what.
How hard it is to fully believe the Divine’s unfailing promises, presence, and power in my life.
How many times I’ve turned away and distracted myself with work that’s known and accepted in the world. With taking yet another course. With the Internet.
She, Queen of Heaven, has come to me, asking, asking, asking me to walk with her to carve a new path.
One that doesn’t exist. One you don’t go to school for to get a degree. One where I get to walk with her.
Walk with Her!? Work with Her!?
I have not believed. It’s been easier to shoo away her messages like a nice visualization you think is make-believe.
But now, as the earthquake in my body throws up lava of mistrust and disbelief, a corridor of light opens before me.
And the words burst from my lips, If you lead me I will follow.
If you lead me I will follow.
If you lead me I will follow.
No matter what it looks like. No matter where I may go.
At that instant a shining crown appears four feet above my head.
It is glorious not because of its precious metal or gleaming jewels, but because it is the crown of the Divine Feminine.
With the radiance of more than a thousand suns.
It is being placed upon me. She is placing it upon me.
And the thundering radiance of a thousand suns and moons and stars showers down all around me.
I am blessed.
I am crowned.
I am initiated.
Not with success, fame, material wealth, or whatever the marketplace and world may chase.
But with the Crown of the Divine Feminine.
To your will, not mine.
If you lead me I will follow.
I am to walk in the world as her.
I am to speak as her. Be her mouthpiece.
Still, I am aware of the stark disparity of my identity. I feel like two people: one with bedraggled worth, the other crowned as the Divine Feminine.
And the bedraggled part drags in its always question, like a tattered rag: Why me?
For the first time, another voice arises in me to silence it. Perhaps it’s time to stop asking that question. And just accept what is.
Who you really are.
I said Yes today.
It’s been building for some time, now.
Like… for years.
I’ve played with my “yes”. Done a few things here and there. Tested it out, like a cat teases a mouse.
I was unsure. Disbelieving. Skeptical. And seriously, seriously doubtful.
And then there’s that always that ever-present friend I’ve travelled with my whole life… worth.
Am I worthy? Good enough? ME???
But today… today felt different.
Today, I could feel the energy pulling at me. I could feel Mother Mary stretch her arm out to me after my meditation, that if I would only take it she would guide me through the door.
Her offer wasn’t conditional. Or time bound. It never is.
I could quite literally see and feel a door ajar to my right, waiting. A shimmering portal to possibility.
It’s been open for a while. And yes, Mary’s told me about it for a long, long while. But I just busied myself with the rest of my life, looking at it from the corner of my eye now and then, saying I’d get to it.
Some. Day. Hah! (We know all that excuse, don’t we?)
But today the pull of the energy current was strong enough for me to sit my seat back on my couch for Meditation Session #2.
Now that’s uncommon.
Then there they were. 3 declarations flowed from my heart, body, and soul.
And a shower of energy poured down on me—liquid light that I know to be Truth. Holy Truth, Holy Fire, which I know as Mother Mary.
(Even as I write these words, I’m thinking… will you understand? Ah, the dregs of old conditioning. But no more. It doesn’t matter if you understand or not. I must write for me, and for the one person who might need to hear.)
Then she asked me to say them out loud.
“I am the living embodiment of the Divine Feminine, the Goddess”
“I am here to lead women to become the Goddesses that they are.”
“I am a spiritual teacher.”
With each sentence my spine felt electrified, jolted with ice-cold fire energy all the way down to my root chakra.
That’s how I know it’s true.
It didn’t even take that long. But there it was. Just like that.
My Yes. Choosing my Destiny. Claiming my Destiny.
Words spoken out into air. Electrified spine. Hair standing on end. And I stepped through the door of my destiny out of the fog of doubt, disbelief, and little self-worth.
And for the first time, I don’t care what anyone thinks.
Not even you…
(I guess it’s no coincidence it’s Lion’s Gate and Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse today!!)
Is this how you say yes? Wait and wait, then when you’re finally ready, effortlessly step through the door?
I’ve started working with clients and groups using sound (crystal bowls, voice, and instruments) and their responses have been nothing short of amazing.
One man said, “I’d pay every week for this — it got me out of my mind, which I simply can’t do on my own.”
A woman after a 10-minute crystal bowl sounding said, “I felt my uterus being healed — it was an issue I had 20 years ago.”
Another woman said, “I heard the words ‘I AM’ and felt this extraordinary feeling of love for humanity and our planet. I felt connected with everyone and everything. It was a cosmic experience.”
Others say how deeply relaxed and refreshed they feel, the shifts they experience, insights, releases, visions, and connection with guides and spirits.
I’ve had many wonderful experiences with healing sounds.
Once, I had a sprained knee which ached quite abit. While leading a chant group, I experimented by resting my tanpura (an Indian drone instrument) against it. After the hour, my pain completely vanished! Since then, I use it on people’s bodies while I’m sound healing.
I’m completely fascinated and passionate about the power and possibility sound healing has for humanity and our planet.
10 ways sound medicine works for you:
- Heals (and speaks) to your body on cellular levels.
- Stimulates and strengthens all your systems and organs — endocrine, circulation, digestion, heart, brain, immune, and hormonal.
- Leads you into very deep states of relaxation to de-stress and get out of your non-stop mind.
- Balances and connects your left and right brain hemispheres.
- Cleanses your body and energy field of negative energy, toxins, andstuck emotions, and helps you release whatever you’re ready to release.
- Sings your body back to its original song and harmonics.
- Connects you with your spirituality. You might even connect with your guides and beings of Light and Love.
- Opens you to fresh, expanded perspectives and insights.
- Activates your third eye (pituitary gland), pineal gland, and intuition.
- Helps you feel refreshed, whole, restored.
What is sound medicine?
Sound medicine is a healing modality that uses the law of vibration to heal your body, mind, heart, and soul.
Sound medicine is based on the principle that you are energy. Your bones, your muscles, your organs, your thoughts, and your feelings.
Your body isn’t solid matter. It’s made of energy. Your body seems and feels solid, but it isn’t.
If you were to peer at your cells through an electron microscope, you would see a combination of waves and particles.
And these waves and particles in your cells understand sound. Yes, that’s right, they understand the language of sound just as you understand these words.
Your cells absorb, translate, and use the sounds in the way they need to.
The magical thing about sound is that you don’t have to know how it works. It just does.
With sound medicine you can treat your body and mind on their most fundamental level — as energy.
Sound medicine uses healing sounds to resonate, realign, harmonize, activate, and balance you on every level.
Some healing sounds are sounds of nature, your voice, crystal singing bowls, tuning forks, instruments, bells, gongs, and drums.
If you haven’t tried a sound healing, be prepared for a magical experience!
I’ve been coaching several clients who are transitioning from work that only pays the bills to work that feeds their soul and lines their pockets.
If you’re transitioning as well, read on.
You’re likely jumping up and down with excitement if you’re stepping into your Soul Purpose.
You might also be biting your fingernails wondering how it’s all going to work out. Maybe you’re trying to micromanage your process. Or, maybe you don’t fully believe — in your Soul Purpose, yourself, and the Universe — you might be standing on the diving board, getting ready to jump.
Wherever you are, it’s perfect.
Every stage is part of your process. Because there’s so much preparation that needs to happen before you jump.
Here are four ways to navigate your remarkable process:
1. Visualize and Feel
Have and play a few pictures in your mind, on your phone, or vision board. Feel yourself lifting off from the diving board, arms outstretched, living one day of your soul’s calling.
Re-play these movies a few times a day. While you brush your teeth, commute to work, or exercise. The images and pictures are your practice sessions. Every time you visualize, you align with your subconscious and Soul. The more you align, the more you believe, and the closer you get to manifesting your dreams.
Because your thoughts, images, and intentions are lightning that create your future.
Photo Andrea Reiman
2. Chant your Mantra
Create your Soul Purpose mantra. Chant it a few times a day.
For instance, “I lead People to fall in love with Nature, Create my own schedule, and Enjoy Abundance with Ease” might be one for a Vision Quest leader.
Your words, just like your thoughts, are extraordinarily powerful. They’re potent subtle energy waveforms that create your future. Because reality gets created on a subtle level before the physical, your spoken words are tools you can use to call in, activate, and manifest your Soul Purpose.
And you don’t even have to know what it will look like.
Even being super general works!
And, if you’re someone who likes to control, chanting your Soul Purpose mantra is a fabulous way to give your control munchkin something to do.
Try it. Just the sound of your mantra can make you quite high with excitement.
3. Learn to Let Go
You can’t plan Soul work. Not really. Not like you’d plan an event, or draw up a 3-year plan.
You just say yes and show up. When you do, the magic happens — your Soul pulls the pieces together in ways you can’t imagine.
If you try to control it, you block your process of surrender.
You need to stay in what I call a ‘Cupped Palm’ state — part action, part receiving.
Photo John Wilson
4. Stay Open to Possibility
You don’t know what your Soul Purpose path will look like. Open to your adventure, your journey, the possibility of it all.
Allow yourself to “Open” rather than “Do”. Your Soul Purpose is not a to-do list but a co-creation with your Divine Self. You can’t possibly know the outcome.
Your Soul, like a child, is incredibly playful and creative.
The best way to stay open to possibility is to sit like a child before a sheet of paper and a box of crayons.
Open to — and allow — what wants to happen.
What are your experiences as you step into your Soul Purpose?
I’d love to hear.
When I got Lyme Disease years ago I realized soon enough that the disease wasn’t just a disease. It was a symptom of something deeper I needed to heal.
That’s what illness always is.
It’s never just physical.
And it’s always about changing something Big — something you might put off and resist. You might even bury your head in the sand.
Because it’s asking you to change those gnarly things — you know, the ones you don’t want to change.
But illness forces your hand.
Treat your illness as a gift, a teacher, a koan, a riddle. And it will reveal its answers and healing. However unlikely it may seem, illness holds a unique, precious gift for you.
How to uncover the treasure of your illness?
I believe knowing I needed to heal the underlying emotional aspect of what Lyme was for me was key to my miracle healing. This helped ground and give me context in a desperate time. It also prevented me from drowning in a sea of medications, treatments, and supplements.
The emotional cause of Lyme for me was that I wasn’t in my full power as a woman.
It sent me on a quest for it.
I used a holistic approach.
I asked myself difficult questions.
I pushed myself to know and discover and become who I wasn’t.
I believe you can heal too.
It takes a bit of soul-searching.
Here are some questions I asked myself to heal from Lyme. I hope they can help you in your own quest to heal.
What are you being called to for your soul growth? Spend some time soul-searching what may be out of alignment. Go within and listen for what new areas of growth your Soul/Higher Self is calling you to.
For me, though I’d just been licensed as a psychotherapist, my Soul was calling me to new work and change my perspectives about Everything. Especially what healing was.
Which chakra(s) is your illness pointing you towards? What, in your energy body is clogged or stagnant? Which chakra is not in its fullest expression, and how does it want to express and flow in you?
For me, my third chakra (Power and Will) needed some radical healing and transformation.
What limited beliefs have you outgrown and need transforming?
I’d outgrown the belief that I was supposed to live a small, invisible life as an Indian woman. (Me? Be powerful? Gasp! The thought made me want to run and hide under my bedcovers.)
What emotions do you need to release or transform? Grief, anger, feeling small or inadequate? Or something else?
I’d lived most of my life feeling small and powerless, and Lyme stormed into my life saying I was anything but that as a spiritual being. My main shift was that I needed to shift from feeling powerless to powerful.
A holistic approach is always best. Seek out the best medical and healing support you can access and afford.
I share my story of how I healed from Lyme disease in my eBook.
What is your illness a symptom of?
I’d love to hear.